The Real Rules for a Four-Way Stop

by Thomas Pack

1. If two vehicles approach the intersection at the same time but stop at different times, the first to stop has the right of way and is the first to proceed.


2. If three or four vehicles approach the intersection and stop at different times, they should proceed in the order they stopped. As your kindergarten teacher taught you, there are times in life when you need to wait patiently for your turn. This is one of them. No cutting. No giving cuts. 


3. If two vehicles stop at the same time or approximately the same time, the vehicle on the right has the right of way. 


4. If two vehicles across from each other stop at the same time and both are going straight, both can proceed at the same time. You should proceed cautiously, however, because it is possible the other driver has a rather casual approach to the use of turn signals and is actually going to turn in front of you as soon as you venture into the intersection. 


5. If two vehicles across from each other stop at the same time and one is turning right and one is turning left, the one turning right has the right of way. You may now be realizing that successful navigation of a potentially dangerous situation depends to some extent on the knowledge, skills, and selflessness of others, and there's a good chance you are across from a careless driver who thinks his or her time is more valuable than yours. You can learn a lot about human nature at a four-way stop. For safety reasons, however, it is best not to dwell on this as you cross the intersection. 


6. If three vehicles stop at the same time, all drivers should yield to the right, but this situation sometimes turns into a free-for-all with the most aggressive driver making a run for it. If this happens and you are the driver who actually has the right of way, you may start wondering if your sense of fairness and decency is actually a way for you to mask a cowardly passivity – a propensity for letting others take advantage of you. You can learn a lot about yourself at a four-way stop, too, but it’s best not to dwell on this either. 


7. Still, it's a hard thing to ignore if four vehicles stop at the same time. The rules get murky, the most dominant driver is certainly going to go first, and if you are not that driver, you may decide you definitely let others waste the precious moments of your life at stop signs. 


8. But maybe your level of assertiveness is situational. That would be mentally healthy, right? Let's say your favorite aunt, the one who still buys you a balloon bouquet every birthday, is dying in the hospital. Then you would zoom through the intersection while everyone else hesitated, right? 


9. But what if your annoying uncle was the one dying? It’s the uncle you can hear belching across the room at family gatherings and then laughing about it, the uncle who thinks insults are funny and still sometimes calls you Mud E. Buttcheeks, a nickname he foisted on you after some childhood mishap you don't even remember anymore. 


10. What did your aunt ever see in him? 


11. Still, he's family, and you would feel justified going first across the intersection. 


12. But do you really need to justify it? If four vehicles stop at the same time, you have as much right as any other driver to go first regardless of anyone’s personal situation, and what's that old saying? Fortune favors the bold, right? 


13. The guy across from you looks pretty bold. He's driving a new Dodge Ram. Black. Shiny. Sunlight glinting off his chrome grill and making you squint. Still, you can see his bushy red beard and mirrored sunglasses. You just know he's going to take the lead if you don't. 


14. Or the guy to your right could be trouble. He's driving a faded blue Chevy van with a dented door and a missing front quarter panel. You don’t know what he looks like or what kind of expression he has on his face because his side window is so grimy you can’t see much more than an outline of his head, but if he doesn't care about keeping his own vehicle in decent shape, he's certainly not going to care about the condition of yours. 


15. You know exactly what the blonde woman on your left looks like because she has a larger-than-life photo of herself smiling wide on the side of her cream-colored Toyota 4Runner. Apparently she's a real estate agent, and the slogan beneath her photo says you should "start moving in the right direction with Glenda." Clever, you think, but a bit pushy, and you’re sure Glenda isn't the type to wait at stop signs. 


16. What's that other old saying? Maybe you'll remember it at the last second and shout it at Glenda and the other drivers when you stomp the gas pedal and rocket into the intersection even as everyone else is stomping and shouting and rocketing, too. 


17. Now you hear squealing brakes. Crunching metal. Shattered glass and pieces of plastic spray across the intersection. You hope you also hear your airbag explode open because your body lurches forward. Your face is inches away from smacking into your steering wheel, and you're still screaming NO GUTS, NO GLORY! 


18. As long as you’re feeling gutsy, you also may want to review the real rules for a roundabout.